Thanksgiving Day 2011

Not everyone got in my camera eye, although there were 20 + people who milled, drank, ate and partied. Ages from 15 to 84 feasted on gobs of food ( thats why it is called gobble gobble day) We ate at the tables decorated by sister Mare who did a beautiful presentation of color, candles and warmth. Niece Lea manned the wine bar and the organic juicy martini bar. Brother-in-laws Larry and Mike and Phil did the duty of "I NEED YOU to do something!" as was yelled out by the sister cooks. The kitchen was small, probably way too small to accomodate foot traffic but it had two ovens! We came prepared to lay out a groaning table and welcomed guests, some from out of town. We did miss a few though, boyfriends, girlfriends, ccusins and brothers but we filled the dining room anyway.

The Clubhouse was on the same property that I lived on and we had access to it because of a pre-arranged acceptance. It was really really beautiful. We had a kitchen, hardwood dining room with wine bar, pool deck with tables and chairs, large living area with big fireplace and HD TV. The couches called to many. There was an additional room with game tables and more sitting areas, soft lamps and ceiling fans. The hallway found most of the younger set at billiards and ping pong tables. Rain that was expected never came. Harsh coldness turned to a bright sun filled day and with ovens on, we wished for our beach wear.

Joining hands at the Thanksgiving table was touching as Sister Mare read from small print, a card that was tucked in our late Father's wallet, and fitting as we felt his love surround us. In addition, our new friend Jennifer (and family) who joined us, remembered her recently departed Mother. With Thanks, many heartfelt memories are tagged on to give the whole perspective of why we are grateful.

Once Upon A Time

We live in a strange world. It is nothing like we imagined. It may start alright but eventually we learn of violence, corruption, fraud, hate, bullying, deceit, abuse, unspeakable hurt, abandonment, abject poverty and lonliness. Do you think maybe that is what spurs the Grimm fairytales? Again, its about innocence fighting the surprising controllers. Hmmm. Sounds like our world. Just to divert for a moment, television has become mostly our media ally as we contend with day to day struggles. Its in color! And on the big screen! Bigger than life! And is exhibiting our very thoughts, perhaps not even in mention but there. Oh Yeah! we muse. The reality show buffs have their day in the sun and the evening folks with a final sit down with feet up have their night among the stars. For me, it is the latter. I still remember my safest moments when I heard, Once Upon A Time. Every language has their storyline prefaced by this caption and all end with happiness ever after, or something similar. This new Fall show is a grabber and a keeper; a clever twist on fairytales that struggle to stay alive in a contemporary world. The flashbacks to the storyline we all remember is nicely aligned in synchronicity with the current storyline. You cannot help but see the correlation and the AH HAH that mirrors the writers soul intent creatively.


What have the critics to say?
San Francisco Chronicle dubs it "great fluffy fun".
Washington Post calls it "charming and elegant."
Chicago Sun Times finds it sparkly, but worried about the flipflop flashbacks. ( I find that rather stunning as it blends so well, a feat that is creative in scripting)
New York Times praises the actors. ( you will notice the mastership of veteran actors who have portrayed a very real character) A child who believes in the reality of the fairytale stories colliding with his present world is the pivotal character you will grow to love.

You will see Rumplestilksin as a daring and very bold embodiement by the deft Robert Carlyle who stars in Stargate Universe convincing us he is a sneaky bad guy, thus, expertly defines the role in this drama.

Snow White, the Evil Queen, Jiminy Cricket,Prince Charming, Gepetto, will dazzle you. The intertwining of each character that knows no timeline will surely move you into that world of our childhood and finish up your Sunday night wanting more. Missed the first show? Its available for free on the internet to watch.

Rock Around the Clock

I want to say Ka-Ching but all that comes out of my mouth is Ker-plank. We sisters, Mother and Auntie traveled to the Church of Valley View where we donated to the slots. The pictures started out okay ( see Mom and Aunt Conny who is donning her neck brace, er, scarf) and then after the machines were well fed, we adjourned to food courts and infinity pools and lounge chairs. At least Cathy and I did, as we went into angst to have to part with our dollars. Cheap? no. Cautious and careful? yes. But we all know that a casino is no place to be a tightwad, especially when the machines are 1 cents. Now this was a revelation to me, since I was used to the Church of Vegas tithing at 25 cents and upward. I was estranged. The faithful parishioners were all on disability or Medicare prescriptions toting their appliances to help them stand upright so they could move from one station to another. After all, it is worthy of all to tithe in all places.

The drive down was a bit of comic relief and we laughed our way into Escondido. Laughed so hard that try as we might, we could not capture the audio on our smartphones for a chuckle recall. But as it goes, let me try to remember. One of the topics was the Foodie mentality and the Food network shows. My mother had us doubled over with her declaration that Giada who must wear a minus double zero dress size and who gobbles up rich and decadent desserts must have at least a staff member at her beckon call to hold the bucket so she can cough up the food. "Nooooooo!" my Mother screams, "she does not swallow!!" Then my Aunt in comedic rhythm chimes in, "Contessa swallows!! We died in howls of laughter. And that was how it went one after another topic.

The Casino resides in no where land, hidden in reservation canyons on a hill. Good thing they had the directions down pat because they visit regularly either by car or bus. Now this is worth mentioning. The retired community buses the seniors twice a day, morning with afternoon pickups and then are you ready for this? 3:30 am to pick up at 10:30 am! The graveyard run. Astounding.

Smoke inhalation is a first concern upon entrance to the casino. But then again, the very disabled and respiratory challenged are there with their cigs playing the Wheel of Fortune, awaiting their $12 profit. Cathy mentioned she had seen a woman carrying free chocolates to the high stakes area ( still smoke infested) and we will have to check that out next visit. The non-smoking section has all the sparkly cartoon machines with the asian, egyptian and wildlife flair. No one wins much there. You think 1 cent is a bargain but you forget you have to do 20 spins on 2 lines to make a dollar three eighty. ( don't ask)

We sisters enjoyed Rock Around the Clock, quite entertaining with all the bells and whistles and songs. But that distraction finally gave way to the reality that the machines, once loose, are now tight.

The Free Buffet was quite a show and offered every kind of food you could think up. Everyone gobbled like pigs at the trough and later needed tums. However, life at the slots is always better with a full stomach isn't it?

After we generously gave as much as we dare, Cathy and I slipped into the hotel next door for a respite from the clanging and dinging. Ahhhhh. An infinity pool and lounging and we were almost alone in thought with our potato chips. See pictures above. Then we got texted by the rest of the group and we joined them for some really serious smoke inhalation.

Warning! This is not for the fainthearted although it appears many are having body struggles. I have great compassion for the elderly but not when they push and shove and act rude. Maybe they have donators remorse.

The ride home was another hoot, in the dark at 10 pm and a shower and bed were waiting for me. Let's face it, family fun is always a lift of the heart muscle.

Family Birthday!

Aunt Conny, my godmother, has just reached her 82nd birthday and I planned a ladies luncheon with the sisters and Mom to celebrate her. Aunt Conny is the vanguard of the family. She forged her way to California from the East Coast first, then we all followed, she forged her way to a 55+ community 12 minutes from my presnt home, and we saw Mom and Dad follow. Now a few more members are finding their way nearby.

All I could ever remember about Aunt Conny is her wit, her laugh-outloud-genuine humor, her serious flat out info, about anything, and her love of our family and living life to the fullest. She has bounce to her step and a solidarity about most things related. Her no-nonsense funny slant on life gives us all a belly laugh. And we did laugh all the way through that luncheon and worked off our sitting and crabbing with an old fashioned walk, greeting community residents. We left each other sweetly wrapped in one another's arms knowing full well, the next union will be just as fun.

The sisters pitched in hugely with a delightful menu:
Mimosas, olives, foie gras pate and crackers, fresh figs from Cathy's tree stuffed with blue cheese and drizzled with balsamic before a broil, vegetable and gourmet cheese crustless quiche, spinach salad with a raspberry vinagrette, panini's made with gouda. fontina, pickles and proscuitto, watermelon and mozzarella salad with tomatoes and herbs, and dessert? Aunt Conny brought her own strawberry shortcake!! HA! We had gourmet cookies made by a Ritz Carlton chef and Italian coffee. The inner child in us relished Aunt Conny's favorite pistachio nut ice cream.

The four hours went by fast but we sisters and brothers -in-laws had more in store. Glasses of amazing red wine and more left overs wasn't enough. We took in a late night cinema and finally said our goodbyes after midnight. I'd call that a 17 hour day filled with sweet memories.

Move to Laguna Niguel

Strands Beach only a few minutes away!













Some would say "you should have your heads examined" with an unplanned move two hours south of your present home. The actual plan came out of the day of my Father's funeral when family looked at us and said you need to be down here with us. It didn't take an act of Congress to emotionally connect with that statement. Finances were thrown to the wind and we scurried around an almost impossible schedule to reach our immediate goals. But what were they?

We left our present office, found a sweet vintage refurbished one level building with vintage gates and shady trees in the heart of a simple Hispanic neighborhood, not far from our beloved office in the early nineties. Without the high rent. Impossibly cheap and saddled with a gem of an owner. This came not too suddenly but in Divine timing. We made it work and our patients complied with ease.




The next phase was short selling our home. What else could we do with everyone else on the block going in that direction? Many homes sat, but as God would have it, a perfect realtor who I found through mere intuition from looking at her picture and then finding a friend in this woman. She was the conduit for luring in a buyer in record time. We boxed, we stressed in between driving weekly to the south coast looking frantically for a residence. My sis connected us with her dear friend who is now, you guessed it, a dear friend. It did not come as quickly as we expected, four months of grueling searches preceded our find. The funny thing was that we looked at property all around the very spot we were to rest. We asked that God go before us and in that Divine Order it came upon us in such a generous way. Everything on our wish list was granted and we are endowed with a good relationship with the owner who is also a health professional.


We moved on July 6 2011 with a moving team sent to us straight from the highest heaven. Surely life will follow in a straight path from that day on! It took many weeks to unpack, even with the help of my sisters and family. Each day we ended it with a glass of wine, good food and a view unsurpassed of the ocean in the distance.

Our trade off for accepting this dreambag was traveling up to L.A. twice a month to maintain our patients schedules. Smiles and adjustments went hand in hand. Our patients were happily content and never missed appointments.

Phase four is now finding office space in our new neighborhood. More to comment on that.

We are back to gardening and soaking up some good sun and having a normal life, thank you God, with our family.

My Dad 1919-2011

My first memory of Dad was when he took me to the Jersey Shore. I might have been barely a full grown toddler and most afraid of the massive pull of the tide. Dad held my hand tightly and walked me gingerly into the ocean. My fear was profound but his hand was my anchor. He told me not to be afraid for he would always be with me. I carried that trust even as I placed a rose on his casket this week. I am confident he will be in touch with my spirit and receive me home when my hour arrives.

I've written about Dad before in my blog but now wish to add a few more thoughts. He was graced by my Mother who gave stewardship to him in a good way for Dad was always most appreciative and taught us kids to be so for our Mother. When the appointed time drew near, he slipped away in her arms and my two sisters arms, governing angels that they were. Each of us felt the prick of his absence, his final wave goodbye and will show tribute in the days and years to come, in the many ways he left his mark.

It is written, there is no immunity from life's sorrows and in attempting to protect ourselves from pain by simply closing a little to life cannot save us. Often we are afraid that if we touch our pain we will be swallowed up by it and deem us dysfunctional. If we become so overwhelmed with grief, all the good in our life will be inaccessible to us. When pain is large we feel we cannot expand enough to hold it all. Yet when we are with pain we somehow can retrieve parts of ourselves and are able to once again love those parts.

Wisdom is often born, they say, in the shadows and more is visible in darkness than in light. Oddly, sorrow and joy do not cast shadows because they provide the steady glare of illumination. Wisdom stretches us beyond where we even thought we could go to tell ourselves the truth. Wisdom asks us to choose life, and to experience it fully.

My father, being poignantly honest, lived each experience of life fully. Challenges were welcomed, brainstorming was commonplace. He golfed, sat on bleachers, drove miles and miles to work with a team of salespersons leading them to embrace the best they could offer, he had a memory for numbers, events, history. His penchant was reading inspiring works, praying dutifully, eating wonderful food passionately. His wisdom came from struggling years as a child having very little, to fighting in a world war to understanding the complexity of humanity. He was a teacher without a degree, a Godly force without a clergyman's collar, a coach without a team. With every hat he wore he lead by that example. That wisdom I continue to carry. He also allowed himself to love well and for 92 years while being fully present, because he knew that doing so gave back to the essential Sacred Mystery of God that sustains all life.

If I could sum up what he left as his legacy was to never devalue those things we treasure and see and touch the Divine in everything and in each other. And to hold a heart full of peace.

Ciao Daddy.
Til we meet again . . .